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lyrics

“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. 
On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly. 
After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.” —Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech

i know it wasn’t coincidence
or an accident
or ill-wished
i see orchestration in this
and i know pleasing it is
playing on a train track
it’s the calm before a heart attack
grinning gone before you know it

but i don’t even like the will to write
i didn’t like the angry drive
and when i said slow down
it was for this
not the innocent
though i’ll always have laments
i’m done with death
i paid my debts
i did my best
decorating a wreck 

but this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse to sink

grieve not for mr. guilt
or he’ll extend his stay
give him not one drop of wine
or he’ll take everything
sorrow glumly comes and goes
(his respects we pay)
but mr. guilt’s a starving beast
he eats he cries
he spills he breaks
a wall is not a fist and
no a shield is not a sword
i cannot our crimes forget
(a disconcerting hole)
i hear you in the hyacinths
moaning to the door
but all is hushed inside our home
what are you begging for

i don’t even like what I must write
cursing at the ebbing tide
for when i said slow down
it pounced upon in rush
to be unwound
wrapped and washed
my hands and face
slid about like netting snakes
recoiling back
it took my clothes my hair my time my faith


i know that this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse to sink

brimming now up to the neck
oh this wreck is heaven sent
and I’ll be stronger stronger stronger
now with song
as if with child
good or bad
you’ll be mine
and I’ll be stronger stronger stronger

i know that this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse 
 


credits

from Hand​-​Painted Dream Photographs, released December 6, 2013

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