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1. |
The Cathedral
03:56
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“Art is contemplation. It is the pleasure of the mind which searches into nature
and which there divines the spirit of which nature herself is animated.”
—François-Auguste-René Rodin
yes i bit the bait
but it was only
that it’s beyond me
that larger beings would hide a hook
in tasty trickery
i heard there is a fine line
between love and hate
on which we’re pulled and yanked
and if this is the natural order of things
why does it feel unnaturally mean
?
you said that it seems
i’m a perpetual motion machine
but moon scoops and empties
spring tides of energy
can you help me learn
to release and honor a memory
nothing i love is still
or truly belongs to me
and if I saw my whole life in a reel
would i feel the need
for repeat scenes like snippets of melody?
yes you tamed the lion
yes you tamed the lion
and though my claws and teeth are shining
i don’t like violence
i like the sloshing stream
and humming bees in sunbeams
yes you tamed the lion
yes you tamed the lion
without a cage or binding
with a mirror
i saw much clearer
now i know
we’re not each other’s keepers
not each other’s betters
we’re just sharers
in melody
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2. |
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“Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye… it also includes the inner pictures of the soul.” —Edvard Munch
when edvard was five
he asked his sunday school teacher
mrs green can the devil see my thoughts
no no no no no dear
but he can put em there
no no no no no dear
but he can stick em there
so if you have a nightmare
just smile
he won’t know you care
and when you have a nightmare
don’t show fear
when edvard was sixteen
he beamed
through the flap of a mask
whether cross or sad
his mouth cracked
in a half laugh
he never ever showed a weak spot
dissipating with a drip-drop
he thought
does the lord know which are my thoughts?
and how do i prove i’m not a bad boy?
how do i tell my girl i need her?
it’s not
not like I’m crazy
lips curved sharp
as a reaping scythe
separating
what is combed and what’s inside
she sewed his head with thread last night
and gingerly sunk
a needle in his pride
he said
no no no no no dear
please don’t touch me there
no no no no no dear
please touch me
cause just because the light’s out
it don’t mean
don’t mean that I don’t care
and even though the light’s out
i’m still here
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3. |
Lady Lazarus
05:16
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Ash, ash—/ You poke and stir./ Flesh, bone, there is nothing there—/
A cake of soap,/ A wedding ring,/ A gold filling./ Herr God, Herr Lucifer/
Beware/ Beware./ Out of the ash/ I rise with my red hair/ And I eat men like air. —Sylvia Plath
i follow i follow i follow i follow
what a lazy languid slouch
of my stature said the mouse
he misdeamed a teeming bend
(impending crouch in shedded skin)
as a corn kernel quivers
when heat waves shiver
my tailored temper
now knows better
pied piper shucked me
free
shouted VIPER!
in the symphony
and the music stopped
i watched the people scream
including me
now I’m a chicken among angels
wings upon a rooted tree
and while they soar effortlessly
i burn to ash
and grasp the breeze
broke my knees
shouted VIPER!
in the symphony
and the music stalls
i crawl
they clap and scream
it’s all for me
i follow i follow i follow i follow
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4. |
The Two Fridas
06:42
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“My blood is the miracle which runs in the vessels of the air from my heart to yours.” —Frida Kahlo de Rivera
i found my baby crow inside a telephone
tiny tin can home
i tugged the other end connected to its twin
then i spoke
i can tame you
i will name you
i won’t let you go
don’t go
don’t
don’t go
an unfitted connection
a blackbird and a woman
my unrequited pet reflection
but harmless it was
i walked eggshells barefoot
yelled why the weight
i’ve found that whether pounds of rock or feather
it hits the ground with equal tether
mock it
call it crow
what’s big or bad about it?
a word is what we put upon it
heavy on the bluebird wire
a million voice amplifier
runs right through you
heard the air is light
so glad to feel the frost bite
chitter chatter tap dance
with a bitter aftertaste
when the talk’s done
how ‘bout some self-love
and if we’re in a bad mood
it’s on a full moon
karma has a habit
being melodramatic
and slightly sarcastic
it ate
then flew away
so quiet
now you’ve learned
baby scavenger
we’ll take what we can get
scraps we pulled
polar directions
the cord snapped
should have left it
still i spoke
i won’t let you
let you go
whether pounds of rock or feather
it hits the ground with equal tether
mock it
call it crow
what’s big or bad about it?
a word is what we put upon it
i walked eggshells barefoot
yelled why the weight
i’ve found that whether pounds of rock or feather
it hits the ground with equal tether
deliriously
i walked across a rickety beam
grey drone
clogged throat
couldn’t speak but you said you’d help me
up a ladder
an eiffel alter
where prayers are answered
and i was almost
i was al—
i was al—
almost there
but wheeled from underneath
no feat’s fair on stilts
you reached
for what was most precious to me
said we need money money money
but don’t tell anybody
descend sweetly
hide a meaning
shove a feeling
under under
then crow walked in
my doppelganger
eager twin
watched me swallow our key
was it disgusting
tell me ulysses
of self-shackled wanting
of paradisiacal purity obscene
i clutched it gently
then ripped apart its body
and i took away its longing
and i can hide a meaning
and i can shove a feeling
under under
and i can make a living
eating what’s given
not listening!
la la la la la la la
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5. |
Hope II
04:47
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“Everything is ugly, she is and what she sees, yet inside her
grows beauty, hope. And her eyes express that.” —Gustav Klimt
those were boiling boundless nights
where words were whips with appetite
i hissed bit coddled
and toddled into dawn’s light
my satin slip
into a red rose morning
shoved me sailing
sent me soaring
AWOL outlawed
feckless fate
was sleeping
snoring
cora
i dreamed you were awake
and you criss-crossed my heart
with finger paint
were you abandoned?
do you wait?
cora
can a girl be your mother?
i slide through stops
like a seal on butter
i’m a home-bound ship
with an awry rudder
i don’t look back
my day’s blind dates
shameless dirt
i sift and shake
whistle while we pan for gold
from my core i take take
but take my word
one day i’ll give it up
i’ll walk without that cocky crutch
i will follow flowers
who bloom brightly
and quietly shut
the bigger my ego
the smaller my world
BIG EGO
small world
BIG EGO
small world
cora
i dreamed you were awake
and you criss-crossed my heart
with finger paint
were you abandoned?
do you wait?
cora
can a girl be your mother?
i slide through stops
like a seal on butter
i’m a home-bound ship
with an awry rudder
those were boiling boundless nights
where words were whips with appetite
we hissed bit coddled
and toddled into dawn’s light
my satin slip
into a red rose morning
shoved me sailing
sent me soaring
AWOL outlawed
feckless fate
was sleeping
snoring
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6. |
Fox at the Aegean
04:13
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“Good morning my fragrant children of wonder!” —Michael Crespo
blue
blue leaves
raked my body
face up downstream
a vein to heart’s sea
when sleepwalking
all is routine
but when we’re dreaming
all is yearning
lately death scenes
what does that mean
i wake
shut my eyes
start walking
i don’t want to hear
truth or lies
stop talking
when sleepwalking
all is routine
when I’m dreaming
all is yearning
lately death themed
what does that mean
when sleepwalking
all is routine
when we’re dreaming
all is yearning
i am ready
said fox to sea
i said
that boy is dead
destroyed
no bye
you hate me
so why not leave me
i cried
you showed me a mirror
said repeat that to her
to see it’s you
not me
a true enemy
coffee hit me
scent of chicory
you were brewing
and i was moving and thinking
seeing syncing
my heart eyes mind
intertwined
by love
for you
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7. |
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“I dreamt that I walked to the end of the pathway from the door, and when I looked to the East
there were Jesus comin’ down with angels on each side.” —Gladwyn “Miss Lassie” Bush
i was stretching
stretching to touch the hem
like a taut rubber band
twelve years i’ve bled for it
slower than a sin’s repent
i split two turtle doves
one from fear and one for love
i gave an unclean offering
i thought it would heal me
i think he said
i think you know
it’s not the touch
it’s letting go
though chase was fit
and stretch was fine
it was release
that fixed your mind
let it go
like mosquitoes and stardust
people thronged full of lust
jealous me
impetuous parasite
craving host
we were thinking we’re half a whole
two magnets polar and blind
but darling i’m a full round bowl
and the whole world’s in my mind
i’ll let you go
if drought has drained you to almost dry
then give out all that you have
pour it in the roaring sea
and when it rains you’ll laugh
let love grow
let love flow
everything is in cycles
carbon clocks
karma cash
you will push
then you’ll be pulled
the desperate learn fast
let it go
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8. |
Voice of the Voiceless
03:22
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Oh shame on the mothers of mortals/ Who do not stoop to teach/
The sorrow that lies in dear dumb eyes/ The sorrow that has no speech. —Ella Wheeler Wilcox
dear sir supervenience
thank you for the lenience
to impose my superiority
over the majority
for i am man
hear me roar!
i made an assembly line
to grind
my guns and gore
one century one score
one decade seven years ago
freedom meant equality
in happy opportunity
with our articulating tongues
and our opposing well-formed thumbs
we used a language and a pen
to say no more oppression
but for those with different tools
we’ll make exceptions
saying ten sometimes equals ten
and sometimes equals zero
and humans are sometimes tools
and sometimes animals
which are almost always tools
a tool is made
made to behave
thou shalt love me
kill build work die
all for me
sound familiar?
are we god or nature?
i got a big fear of being nothing
so i made you suffer
for my suffering
dear god of convenience
thank you for your lenience
to enforce my superiority
over the minority
for I am man
hear me roar!
i made an assembly line
to grind
my guns and gore
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9. |
The Ship
06:55
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“Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them.
On the contrary: rationalize them, understand them thoroughly.
After that, it will be possible for you to sublimate them.” —Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech
i know it wasn’t coincidence
or an accident
or ill-wished
i see orchestration in this
and i know pleasing it is
playing on a train track
it’s the calm before a heart attack
grinning gone before you know it
but i don’t even like the will to write
i didn’t like the angry drive
and when i said slow down
it was for this
not the innocent
though i’ll always have laments
i’m done with death
i paid my debts
i did my best
decorating a wreck
but this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse to sink
grieve not for mr. guilt
or he’ll extend his stay
give him not one drop of wine
or he’ll take everything
sorrow glumly comes and goes
(his respects we pay)
but mr. guilt’s a starving beast
he eats he cries
he spills he breaks
a wall is not a fist and
no a shield is not a sword
i cannot our crimes forget
(a disconcerting hole)
i hear you in the hyacinths
moaning to the door
but all is hushed inside our home
what are you begging for
i don’t even like what I must write
cursing at the ebbing tide
for when i said slow down
it pounced upon in rush
to be unwound
wrapped and washed
my hands and face
slid about like netting snakes
recoiling back
it took my clothes my hair my time my faith
i know that this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse to sink
brimming now up to the neck
oh this wreck is heaven sent
and I’ll be stronger stronger stronger
now with song
as if with child
good or bad
you’ll be mine
and I’ll be stronger stronger stronger
i know that this is not my fantasy
weaving tinsel through debris
sugar can’t grow
from seeds sown salty
in the sea
brought by wind and beast
i refuse
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10. |
Flaming June
06:59
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“Art is the utterance of our delight in the phenomena of Life and Nature and an endeavour to communicate to others and perpetuate that delight.” —Sir Frederic Leighton
no pain no struggle
she-devils
frisky bite-sized kittens
caught in risk
and dancing in doubles
smooth supple
turned winked blinked tripped
right into trouble
restless
reckless
sunrise
sunset
apple hair
like mars or bricks
sweet heart
with panoramic hips
flaming june
burst and swooned
dopamine proved to be
much too crude
and now we sit and say
asleep or dead
i don’t know
i don’t know
where what why i i i
i don’t know
i said won’t you come
come and play
i’ve been waiting
days upon days
no pain no struggle
she-devils
frisky bite-sized kittens
caught in risk
and dancing in doubles
smooth supple
turned winked blinked tripped
right into trouble
hung inside a warm cocoon
and swinging like a sunk balloon
it was we
you awkwardly cut into
hallelujah
grown to only half at best
clumsy chrysalis
with a faulty compass
hallelujah
we crawled up
to the levy side
you and i
sailed into the river tide
and i have never seen a thicker orange
like thickets of thorns
the monarchs swarmed
the heather light
a beautiful fight
and I lied
and I lied
hallelujah
hallelujah
hallelujah
hallelujah
hallelujah
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11. |
The Lovers I
04:01
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“Everything we see hides another thing, we always want to see what is hidden by what we see.” —René François Ghislain Magritte
left hand hiding
slipping
slipping
second hand nervous
ticking
ticking
jack is nimble
jack is slick
jack has nicked the candlestick
the sandpaper touch of rubber-tongued words
licked like a sunburnt kiss
slowly sucking honeysuckle
wanting more than tiny
dew-drop tug-o’-wars
climbing to the higher branches
she saw sweetness
he saw blisters
he never feels he’s won
it’s a see-saw game
so i’ve been tumbling after ambition
it was once such a good friend
now
jill is proper
jill is prim
jill is lovely out and in
i’m high strung
black as her
string of pearls
cold as a winter’s wind
jack fell down
and broke his crown
and jill fell after him
and though he landed in my arms
the consequences never
never seem to end
i never feel i’ve won
it’s a see-saw game
so ive been tumbling after ambition
it was once such a good friend
now
it’s always up or down
it’s a see-saw game
so i’ve been tumbling after ambition
he was once such a good friend
now
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12. |
The Lovers II
03:41
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“The mind loves the unknown. It loves images whose meaning is unknown,
since the meaning of the mind itself is unknown.” —René François Ghislain Magritte
you know i’d love to think that we were galloping free
full speed
ripping through the dirt like tumbleweed
but I woke up
filled up with the carousel blues
i didn’t choose
this song
this course
this silly horse
going round and round and round
and judging from astronomy
the earth is getting
dizzy tipsy
flung between
the stars
and everyone
has come to sift the stars
out from the gutter
lucky one remember
that the point of games
is fun
this game of hide and seek
was fun
i lost but i was found
i won one more time
promise you’ll hide inside my arms
this time
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